0–9 months – See this age across all domains Infants

What educators might observe

• Explores body parts, including their genitals
• Prefers to be unclothed
• Looks at body parts on self, others, and in mirror
• Responds positively to healthy touch from loving adults (e.g., is soothed by massage)
• Communicates bodily discomfort (e.g., cries during tummy time or gives strong signal that a different position is preferred)

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Talk to families about ways they express care and love for their infant; get to know and respect cultural differences in the way care and love are expressed
• Be mindful when changing children’s diapers, and describe the sensations that children will experience next (e.g., “I am going to use a cold wipe to clean your vagina. So cold! There, I’m all done now”)
• Allow children freedom to explore and observe their bodies
• Avoid sexualizing children’s behavior (e.g. ,“He’s such a flirt”)
• Read books on body parts For example
  • My Face Book , by Star Bright Books
  • Hello World! My Body , by Jill McDonald
  • All of Baby Nose to Toes. by Victoria Adler
  • Global Babies , by The Global Fund for Children
  • Where is Baby’s Belly Button? , by Karen Katz
  • Pretty Brown Face , by Andrea Pinkney
  • Busy Fingers , by C. W. Bowie

8–16 months – See this age across all domains Infants

What educators might observe

• Enjoys sensual, non-sexual experiences (e.g., breast feeding, thumb sucking, rocking to bed, cuddling)
• Expresses delight and a sense of pride in the things their body can do independently (e.g., crawling up stairs, and throwing or dropping objects)
• Bats at, touches, grasps, or pulls their genitals during diaper changing

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Model respect for children’s bodies by telling them what to expect before touching them or picking them up
• Narrate what you’re doing when you touch them (“I’m going to pick you up now”) so they have a sense that unexpected things don’t just happen to their bodies
• Express healthy, matter-offact attitudes about children’s bodies and bodily functions; avoid conveying shame or naughtiness about erections, bowel movements, and other toileting activities

15–24 months – See this age across all domains Toddlers

What educators might observe

• Touches or rubs their genitals themselves for pleasure (Note: Children this age are not masturbating to orgasm.)
• Says “no” or walks away when another child tries touch, hit, or kiss them

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Explore books about the body and appropriate physical touch by reading
  • Whose Toes Are Those? by Jabari Asim
  • More, More, More, Said the Baby , by Vera B. Williams
  • C is for Consent , by Eleanor Morrison
  • Baby Says , by John Steptoe
  • Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes , by Mem Fox
  • Loving Me , by Debby Slier
  • Kiss by Kiss , by Richard Van Camp
  • Full, Full, Full of Love , by Trish Cooke

24–36 months – See this age across all domains Toddlers

What educators might observe

• Learns the language for different body parts and their functions (e.g., penis, vagina, or breasts)
• Communicates their gender identity (e.g.,“I’m a girl!”) and categorizes others by gender
• Expresses curiosity about their own body and the bodies of others (e.g., trying to see other people’s bodies or asking questions like: “Why doesn’t Kayla have a wee wee?”)

Ways educators might support the child's development

• When toilet-teaching, use accurate language to describe genitals; validate children’s curiosity and provide accurate, age-appropriate answers to their questions
• Engage in two-way communication with families regarding toilet teaching , and include
  • Words for penis and vagina in the child’s home language
  • Cultural expectations for privacy in the bathroom
• Encourage children to read facial expressions and other body language (scared, sad, frustrated, happy, angry, etc.)

3-year-olds – See this age across all domains Preschool

What educators might observe

• Expresses positive feelings about their body and actively explores what it can do (e.g., may experiment with different positions for urinating)
• Understands that their bodies belong to themselves and that they have a right to say “no” to unwanted touch
• Imitates the relationship behavior of adults (e.g., children may engage in “kissing” or “playing house”)
• Expresses curiosity about their body and the bodies of others (e.g., a child may examine the “bottoms” of pets and stuffed animals)

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Talk to children about the human body (parts and functions); equip children with accurate vocabulary for their genitals in the same way you provide accurate vocabulary for all of their other body parts
• Model consent throughout your everyday teaching practices; for example, give children options for how they would like to be greeted in the morning (e.g., hug, high five, or wave)
• Communicate with children about your own physical boundaries (“I don’t like when people touch my hair without asking. It’s great to be curious. So, if you are feeling curious about how my hair feels, you can ask me, and I might say yes and I might say no.”)
• Teach children that “no” and “stop” are important words and should be honored in relation to their own bodies and the bodies of others; support children as they begin to learn how to read and respond to others’ non-verbal communication

4-year-olds – See this age across all domains Preschool

What educators might observe

• Asks questions about their bodies and the bodies of others
• Curious about birth, reproduction, and how families are made (e.g., child may ask, “Where did I come from?” or “What makes a baby?”)
• Plays “doctor,” taking off clothes and examining peers’ genitals
• Seeks bodily pleasure (e.g., may want to cuddle when they wake up from nap or enjoy dressing up in silky dresses)
• Masturbates either with their hands or through rubbing their genitals against surfaces like pillows or chairs
• Uses “potty talk” to test limits and make people laugh

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Provide straightforward, honest answers to children’s questions, and be mindful to provide answers in ways that are inclusive of all genders, all bodies, and all of the different ways that people make families (For example, instead of saying, “Girls have vaginas and boys have penises,” you could say, “Many or most girls have vaginas, and many or most boys have penises.”)
• Communicate with families early and often about your policies and practices regarding gender and sexuality
• Avoid overreacting to common (or typical) child sexual behavior like masturbation; set limits without shaming children
• Teach children to ask permission before touching or embracing a playmate, using language such as, “Jasmine, let’s ask Joe if he would like to hug bye-bye.” If Joe says “no” to this request, cheerfully tell the child, “That’s okay, Jasmine! Let’s wave bye-bye to Joe and blow him a kiss instead.”

5-year-olds – See this age across all domains Preschool

What educators might observe

• Uses correct names for parts of the body
• May be familiar with exploring genitals but still have questions about their functions
• Understands that certain bodily activities have particular times and places, and accepts limits (e.g., may pick their nose in the bathroom)
• Explores the idea of family and marriage, and understands that some adults are married and that some are not; is aware that there are lots of different ways to make a family

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Allow children to explore the idea of partnerships with each other, regardless of their gender identity
• Reflect on your own biases and examine your habits, curriculum, and classroom environment for subtle or overt messages children may be receiving about gender, bodies, and relationships
• Actively learn about the families of the children you serve and ensure that your curriculum reflects and honors their diversity and their strengths
• Include books in the learning environment that celebrate all kinds of families
  • Dear Child , by John Farrell
  • The Different Dragon , by Jennifer Bryan
  • The Family Book , by Todd Parr
  • Stella Brings the Family, by Miriam B. Schiffer
  • A Family is a Family is a Family , by Sara O’Leary

6-year-olds – See this age across all domains Early elementary

What educators might observe

• Less interested in exploring sexuality than they were earlier
• May continue to masturbate and understand that it is a healthy activity that has a specific time and place
• Begins to understand concepts of the body changing as it grows older
• Knows that they have agency over and are the experts on their own bodies and gender identity (i.e. they get to decide if they are a boy, girl, both, or something else)
• Understands that there are lots of different kinds of loving relationships (e.g. parent, sibling, friend, etc.)

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Check in with families about children’s curiosity regarding partnerships and sexuality
• Explore the changing and growing body by comparing photos of when children were younger with what they look like now
• Be sensitive to the variety of family configurations in the classroom in your words and actions (e.g., avoid saying, “Go home and tell your moms and dads.”)
• Nurture children’s positive self-image; draw self portraits and talk about what they love and appreciate about their bodies

7-year-olds – See this age across all domains Early elementary

What educators might observe

• Looks to peers, media, and other sources for information about sex and sexuality; knows that not everything they hear from peers or see on T.V. or the internet is true
• Children have questions about sex, crushes, dating, and relationships
• May express internalized patriarchy and homophobia through teasing, using sexually explicit language (or slurs), and/or talking about girls’ bodies
• Expresses their wants and needs with respect to their body (e.g., “Can I have some space?”) and respects the wants and needs of others (e.g., will stop roughhousing with a peer when told to)

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Talk to families about their cultural norms and expectations for children’s gender and sexuality development
• Learn from families about their children’s knowledge of sex and sexuality
• Communicate with families about conversations related to gender and sexuality that arise in the classroom
• Use books to support direct conversations about questions related to sex when they arise
  • What Makes a Baby , by Cory Silverberg
  • Sex is a Funny Word: A Book about Bodies, Feelings, and You , by Cory Silverberg

8-year-olds – See this age across all domains Early elementary

What educators might observe

• Some children’s bodies are changing (e.g., they may grow breast buds and/ or pubic hair)
• Knows that many (but not all) grownups fall in love with (and sometimes marry) people of a different gender; understands that it’s not accurate to assume that all families have a mother and father and begins to explore many different family structures

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Monitor the comments you make about your own and other people’s bodies and appearance
• Engage children in ongoing critical literacy activities that support them in developing the skills to analyze literature and media for sexism, sizism, and homophobia