0–9 months – See this age across all domains Infants

What educators might observe

• Signals needs with sounds or motions (e.g., turns head and roots or cries when hungry. or reaches for wanted object of comfort)
• Relaxes or stops crying when comforted, especially by familiar adult (e.g., when swaddled or spoken to softly)
• R esponds to emotional cues and social situations (e.g., crying when other babies cry)
• Smiles, waves, or laughs in response to positive adult interaction
• Comforts self by clutching, sucking, or stroking when tired or stressed (e.g., calms while stroking or holding soft blanket)

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Engage in self-care so that your own feelings and moods are well-regulated
  • Sleep well
  • Eat regularly
  • Take breaks
  • Reflect on the joys and challenges of educating young children with trusted friends and colleagues
  • Make a list of positive supports in your own life
• Comfort a child whenever they cry
• Respond to baby’s cues and vocalizations by expressing concern about their feelings and then confidence in being able to meet their needs (“You are crying so hard. I am coming. I will hold you. You are letting me know that you need a bottle.”)

8–16 months – See this age across all domains Infants

What educators might observe

• Seeks educator support and attention when encountering a challenge
• Imitates adults’ facial expressions and moods
• Uses physical contact to express emotions (e.g., kissing, biting, hugging, or patting)
• Rubs comfort object or sucks thumb when upset or tired
• Repeats sounds or words to draw educator’s attention to their needs and begins to cry if educator does not respond quickly enough

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Ask families what helps their child to feel better when they are upset
• Respond to child’s displays of pleasure by matching child’s emotions with facial expressions, tone, and words
• Model facial expressions to express emotions and label emotion (e.g., happy face-smile, sad face-frown, or angry face-scowl)
• Identify which behaviors are upsetting for you, and develop a new response to those behaviors (e.g., “When children hurt each other, I used to yell at them to stop. Now, I teach them about “gentle touches,” and when they are rough, I say, “Remember, gentle touches.”)

15–24 months – See this age across all domains Toddlers

What educators might observe

• Uses a variety of strategies to manage their feelings, such as withdrawing from the group, seeking a hug from the educator, or holding on to a special object
• Tells educator “I’m ok!” after they fall down
• Says phrases like “Mommy bye-bye” and points to the door to communicate that they miss their family

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Set clear and consistent limits in a loving way
• Include soft items in the caregiving environment that the child can snuggle with
• Allow the child to freely experience and feel their emotions in safe ways; label all feelings, especially intense ones, so that the child starts to connect the feeling with the word
• Name your own genuine feelings as they arise (“I feel so happy to be with you today.”)
• Create a balance between quiet and louder activities in the learning environment and throughout the day

24–36 months – See this age across all domains Toddlers

What educators might observe

• Continues to do an action, such as climbing over the top of a table, after an educator has asked them to stop
• Protests loudly, and may have tantrums, in response to limits
• Names some emotions (e.g., happy, sad, excited, mad, tired, or scared)
• Begins to use pretend play to express/act out emotions

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Invite the family to provide a comfort object from home, such as a blanket or a stuffed animal that a child may use to calm down
• Use words to teach children to associate feelings with proper names (e.g., “She’s smiling. Do you think she’s happy, excited, or silly?”)
• Talk with children about the feelings characters are having in books
• Support the child by reflecting back their responses and reactions (“I see you. You are hitting and kicking. I am here to help you.”)
• Stay with children while they are having strong feelings, and let them know they are safe
• Notice and acknowledge the child’s preferred strategies for managing their feelings

3-year-olds – See this age across all domains Preschool

What educators might observe

• Expresses strong feelings physically (e.g., kicks, hits, or throws items)
• May feel overwhelmed by emotions such as excitement or disappointment
• Talks to an imaginary friend about their thoughts and feelings
• Assigns certain inanimate objects their own feelings (e.g., the stuffed dog is said to be mad because it can’t have a cookie before bed)
• Talks about their emotions when someone notices they are sad and asks them about it
• Asks “why” questions to show effort at understanding effects of behavior

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Talk to families about how emotions are expressed in their family, community, and culture
• Reflect on personal beliefs regarding the acceptability and unacceptability of specific types of child behavior
• Create a cozy area with books, pillows, soft fabrics, and a variety of objects they can pull or squeeze
• Use self-talk to label own emotions and coping strategies (e.g.,” I am feeling frustrated, so I am taking a deep breath to calm down.”)
• Incorporate books on feelings reflective of the language and cultural background of the children

4-year-olds – See this age across all domains Preschool

What educators might observe

• Tries to express strong feelings verbally, but then may resort to physical expression (e.g., breaking toys)
• Acts out and resolves emotions in dramatic play
• Explains the reason behind their emotions
• Uses vocabulary for complex emotions, such as disappointed, frustrated, embarrassed, or thrilled
• Advocates for what they want and what they like
• Identifies some things that help them feel better when they are upset

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Reflect with colleagues to determine what message children’s feelings, behaviors, and impulses are conveying
• Wait until you are calm before talking to a child about a moment in which they had strong feelings
• When you and the child are both calm, talk to the child about what happened (e.g., “Earlier you cried when Ellen took the toy from you. How do you think you were feeling? What could you have said to tell Ellen how you felt?”)
• Teach children coping strategies for self-regulating/or self-monitoring behaviors
• Avoid stereotyping children’s expression of emotion (e.g., validate boys when they cry, and girls when they get angry)

5-year-olds – See this age across all domains Preschool

What educators might observe

• Often expresses strong feelings in socially and culturally accepted ways
• Identifies emotions and uses words to describe them
• Describes why people may feel differently about the same situation
• Intentionally uses humor (e.g., begins to tell jokes)
• Begins to understand and explain reactions to certain circumstances

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Talk to families and colleagues about their expectations for children’s behavior; acknowledge contrasting or conflicting beliefs
• Try multiple strategies consistently to prevent child(ren)’s adverse feelings and impulses
• Verbally reinforce children’s attempts at self-control (e.g., “I see that you are mad. I am happy to see you take some deep breaths.”)
• Avoid removing the child from an activity or from the classroom as a consequence

6-year-olds – See this age across all domains Early elementary

What educators might observe

• Identifies socially and culturally acceptable behavior (e.g., listening vs. interrupting)
• Becomes upset when they lose a game but is able to use a strategy to cope

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Read books about self-control, such as:
  • Sophie Gets Angry , Really, Really Angry , by Molly Bang
  • Ahn’s Anger , by Gail Silver
  • Lily’s Purple Plastic Purse , by Kevin Henkes
• Discuss the books with the children, asking
  • Have you ever felt the same way as ___?
  • What would you do if you were ___?
  • What would you say to___?
• Create strategy charts for feelings, impulses, and ways to act on them

7-year-olds – See this age across all domains Early elementary

What educators might observe

• Demonstrates flexibility and socially appropriate behavior at school (e.g., “When we are in the hallway we keep our voices down so other classes can work.”)
• Manages strong emotions using known strategies (e.g., talks to a friend about being reprimanded by the educator)

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Talk to families and past teachers about the development of the child’s ability to self-regulate
• Notice, recognize, and communicate when children take hard steps to achieve control (e.g., “I saw that you left the game when you were getting upset.”)
• Sing songs like “I Get Up In The Morning,” which contains the refrain, “Everything’s going to be all right,” to remind children that strong feelings pass; try “Here Comes the Sun,” to recall that feelings change

8-year-olds – See this age across all domains Early elementary

What educators might observe

• Demonstrates patience with personal circumstances (e.g., When doing math says, “I need to add slowly when working with big numbers so I don’t make a mistake and get frustrated.”)
• Identifies their strengths and challenges

Ways educators might support the child's development

• Reflect with families and colleagues about the way strong feelings are expressed in the communities and cultures of the children in your class
• Encourage the development of children’s self-awareness by suggesting that they write about their personal strengths and challenges
• Let children know which trusted adults are available to be with them when they have strong feelings